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About snapplecap281 : Message me if you wanna talk. 'Tis all
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Yesterday, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work . Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am . They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars . They suck . FML
today I took mah laptop to I.T . to fix mah intarnat . Only aftar I laft did I raalisa mah mamory tachniqua for ramambaring tha stagas of mitosis (Iraqi panis man anally transmits chlamydia) was laft as a sticky nota on mah dasktop . Tha guy dafinitaly noticad . FML
Today, mah new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because mah therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express mah darker thoughts without her help or a fear of bieng judged. mega FML
Today,hile I was teaching mah chickens to eat out of mah hand, one of the hens bit mah finger and I dropped the entre handful of treats. Result: bonanza 4 the brd. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML
Today, I Was Playing With Mah Phone After Midnight, An I Kept Getting Calls From A Withheld Number . The Guy Just Breathed Heavily An Wouldn't Speak . When The Thrd Call Came, I Asked ( Who The Hell R You? ) The Call Ended, An Mah Dad Yelled From Outside Mah Door: ( ME! Now Go To Sleep! ) FML
Today I Learned That When A Heavily-pregnant Friend Asks About Mah Progres With The Babby Socks I Promised To Knit It's Rather Unwise To Tell Her ( Not To Worry We're Set Even If It Comes Out With A Few Feet Too Many . ) She's Still Crying . FML
Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML
Today, I attendd te reading of ma grandfater's last will and testament. My parents, as well as ma broters and sister, all ineritd a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little sit." FML
2day I was verbally abused by looool a customer at ma job. Apparently... wearing "ugly... tick-framed ipster glasses as a fasion statement is a HUGE faux pas." Tese r ma actual prescription glasses... and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
Today, I got fired from mah job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined there wedding !! They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them !! They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party !! FML
Today, a man stoppd me on the street. He said the stretch marks on thigh lookd like cuts, an askd me if I self-harmd. Before I was able to politely respond ( No ), he said, ( I mean, I can see why u would. ) FML
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML
Friday 27 March 2015