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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an akward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (2046)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65838) - you deserved it (1866)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65838) - you deserved it (1866)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52649) - you deserved it (6282)
On 04/07/2009 at 12:53am - love - by effedfosh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116669) - you deserved it (10088)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199398) - you deserved it (58855)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59211) - you deserved it (3194)
On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (364088) - you deserved it (20242)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML
I agree, your life sucks (113542) - you deserved it (4566)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53336) - you deserved it (418261)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said " wow, who drinks this?". Her reply was "Why don't you tell me, i found it in your room." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (56165)
On 03/26/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (68061) - you deserved it (3421)
On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42589) - you deserved it (485373)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106899) - you deserved it (5302)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105133) - you deserved it (7704)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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