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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (2673)
On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14802) - you deserved it (4722)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (1572)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70288) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (2500)
On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (1967)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13843) - you deserved it (3127)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/08/2009 at 10:30am - money - by solarecliptic (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50315) - you deserved it (2659)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14744) - you deserved it (23696)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4625) - you deserved it (34770)
On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4386) - you deserved it (37941)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4936) - you deserved it (38647)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (1702)
On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (1702)
On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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