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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (1644)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (1736)
On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43461) - you deserved it (3142)
On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (3013)
On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21498) - you deserved it (2497)
On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (2623)
On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (9660)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45401) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you deserved it (85406)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38300) - you deserved it (3114)
On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (15251)
On 03/02/2010 at 12:15am - love - by oldandmarriedapparently (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4766) - you deserved it (21532)
On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you deserved it (2417)
On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35352) - you deserved it (2226)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2945) - you deserved it (43958)
On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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