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smrue5

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smrue5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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smrue5's page activity

Visits<b>Rob2342</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 5:46pm<b>sktlzz14</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 11:01am<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 12:04am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:07pm<b>NeonCookies89</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 11:14pm

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smrue5's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41527) - you deserved it (5132)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (7857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50713) - you deserved it (4170)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43213) - you deserved it (7277)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41916) - you deserved it (2858)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50362) - you deserved it (3570)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57000) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (3466)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42711) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46348) - you deserved it (3795)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42406) - you deserved it (3019)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (77615)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (38365)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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