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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 August 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 872
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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smittie's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:19pm

smittie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

smittie's favorite FMLs

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

by lisacasabonita / 11/12/2010 at 11:31am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Kids

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

by Annie / 10/16/2010 at 4:20am / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

by deadinavan / 10/13/2010 at 8:57am / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

by Icey_dan1 / 10/10/2010 at 11:16am / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

by June / 10/05/2010 at 12:47am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

by notsoonenufdeparted / 10/02/2010 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 9:25am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

by lovelife / 09/27/2010 at 9:09am / United States / Miscellaneous