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smashleybdot

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smashleybdot

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  • Number of visits : 352
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smashleybdot's page activity

Visits<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 12:09pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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smashleybdot's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (23066)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (5319)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (4460)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (3229)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (4340)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (2797)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (4256)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (2011)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (1490)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23741) - you deserved it (2043)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (1945)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (3001)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (2949)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)



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