Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

slick5880

Search for a member

slick5880

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2187
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About slick5880 : Unlimited potential with zero initiative.

slick5880's page activity

Visits<b>Advising</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:38pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:48am<b>anothemy</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>buzzboy2389</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:27pm<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:49am<b>Darkness121</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:17pm<b>dante_53</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:05am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:12am<b>audreys510</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:17am<b>razi1</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Lilly2shoes</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:13am<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:20pm<b>ThatGuyNero</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:55pm<b>drewTheMan</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:54pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:19pm<b>grritsshay</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>tique22</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:45am<b>sanjana_378</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:56am

slick5880's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of slick5880's badges

slick5880's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11633) - you deserved it (32448)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34722) - you deserved it (4822)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (4731)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59202) - you deserved it (8515)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (7571)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (40189)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (4517)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34127) - you deserved it (11347)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

#12834464
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40908) - you deserved it (2273)

On 08/31/2010 at 3:54am - misc - by missyoudad. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39348) - you deserved it (3343)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (11619)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (7101)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20265) - you deserved it (9194)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: