About slick5880 : Unlimited potential with zero initiative.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (4915)
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (2031)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (2193)
On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (7024)
On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16181) - you deserved it (1639)
On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35495) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17382) - you deserved it (1824)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71661) - you deserved it (9144)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10902) - you deserved it (19680)
On 08/30/2011 at 1:20am - intimacy - by WithoutLove (man) - United States
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11316) - you deserved it (31783)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (3708)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (4683)
On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53712) - you deserved it (7014)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (6138)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13908) - you deserved it (30565)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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