About slick5880 : Unlimited potential with zero initiative.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Socialite
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14247) - you deserved it (1407)
On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14897) - you deserved it (1362)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (1597)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6042) - you deserved it (19956)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17646) - you deserved it (2937)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11086) - you deserved it (24452)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (2291)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by kayadd33 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15789) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15020) - you deserved it (1705)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16508) - you deserved it (1496)
On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16508) - you deserved it (1496)
On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13096) - you deserved it (2591)
On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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