About sleepyglowstar : Hi :)
I'm 26,married and tattooed. I dye my hair bright colours. I also don't really care.
Feel free to message me but don't be offended if I don't reply. I'm not very good at replying on here.
Have a great day!
About sleepyglowstar : Hi :)
sleepyglowstar's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
sleepyglowstar's favorite FMLs
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML
by hungry hungry harvey / 05/08/2016 at 12:56pm / United States / Health
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML
by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
by aswamk / 12/19/2015 at 12:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Animals
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
by kissandcontrol01 / 10/10/2015 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML
by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Brooke / 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by clutzirella / 08/07/2015 at 2:32am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
- Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts… Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In… Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do…