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slayertack

Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 7:02am) | Search for a member

slayertack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1074
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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slayertack's page activity

Visits<b>Ley135</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:16pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:11pm<b>livelikely</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:20pm<b>sethtaylor1415</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:03am<b>mateapearson</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:28pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:57pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>kissingcars</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:33am<b>jamie182</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Thinkgeek</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 7:32pm<b>fabs1171</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:59pm<b>J215B</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm<b>lexypaige</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Aliakatherin</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:18pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:54am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:21pm

slayertack's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

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slayertack's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43073) - you deserved it (3765)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (7986)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (49217)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (4313)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (44839)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46748) - you deserved it (1913)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (12133)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (1681)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (2468)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (3084)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (3994)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden



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