Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member
About slayertack : Video games and snowboarding.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today a guest of the private beach club I work at askd if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughd thinking it was a joke. She was seriou and complaind to boss saying I was absolutely no help. FML
Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and trid to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormd over, said "I got this!" and puntd him over the edge. We both got thrown out fir "bullying" the kid. FML
Today , after giving me mah very first orgasm , mah boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about mah orgasm face. Apparently it remindd him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessd girl , and it really freakd him out. FML
Today, I was getting freaky wit my boyfriend and told im to spank me. In a seductive voice, e told me not to tell im wat to do. Continuing, I askd im ow e was going to punis me, to wic e ten replid, "I'm going to punc u straigt in te face." FML
Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML
I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends,hen I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, an he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, an it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML
2day I was in a restroom reading looool this site hen another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands dried them nodded at me then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so werd except I was in a one-person restroom. FML
Today, ma usband finally returned from is 18-mont deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from ma Aunt. Se was iding in our closet teole time to surprise us wit cake for is safe return. FML
Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML
Today, being near-broke, I resortd to sopping at Walmart!! Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a uman being sovd me away from te bacon I was looking at!! I fell, bustd ma lip, ten got screamd at by anoter woman for not watcing were I was going!! FML
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
Friday 27 March 2015