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Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22819) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (4843)
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (1805)
On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (32348)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (3229)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (2635)
On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7848) - you deserved it (36911)
On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (39434)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (3027)
On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (6331)
On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13843) - you deserved it (3127)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29889) - you deserved it (3212)
On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39044) - you deserved it (20649)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40224) - you deserved it (8173)
On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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