Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

slayertack

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 8:31pm) | Search for a member

slayertack

15Fucked!

slayertackslayertack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2458
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About slayertack : Video games, metal and snowboarding.

slayertack's page activity

Visits<b>Mrcherryberry</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:42pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:47pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:22pm<b>schroederk</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:50am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:54pm<b>lizzeh333</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:31am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 5:35am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:27am<b>jill97</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:08am<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:49pm<b>jesusalejndr</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:30am<b>Quendolin</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:18am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:08pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:08pm<b>demamcgirl16</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>aishah77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:07am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:27am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 11:36am<b>schroederk</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 7:51am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:40pm<b>grac7</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 10:20am<b>demamcgirl16</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:47am<b>aishah77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:45pm<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:19am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:35am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:53pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:56am

slayertack's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of slayertack's badges

slayertack's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (8298)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (7474)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (8598)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (29809)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (3901)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50849) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44272) - you deserved it (21174)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (59460)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (36283) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50073) - you deserved it (7020)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50696) - you deserved it (18431)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57840) - you deserved it (20537)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44309) - you deserved it (36102)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: