Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

slayertack

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

slayertack

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1813
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About slayertack : Video games and snowboarding.

slayertack's page activity

Visits<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:00pm<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:15am<b>Kiernan151</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:21am<b>myanichole</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Mar29luckyduckie</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:43pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:43pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:31pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:58am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:03am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:37am<b>GrimmCrimm45</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Nameless_Fellow</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:44am<b>jfreeman86</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:48pm<b>butlins11</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:53pm<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:17pm<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:13pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:44am

Fucked!<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:07pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:56am

slayertack's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of slayertack's badges

slayertack's favorite FMLs

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23584) - you deserved it (15112)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (7897)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (6568)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (7708)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43428) - you deserved it (27743)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42651) - you deserved it (3656)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47592) - you deserved it (7234)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (19548)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (55774)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (33719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (6576)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48772) - you deserved it (17754)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52693) - you deserved it (18596)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: