I'm in ur base, killin ur doodz.
Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I heard a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut my tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36317) - you totally deserved it (1243)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - health - by Toothy. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45406) - you totally deserved it (2324)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61766) - you totally deserved it (2937)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44498) - you totally deserved it (1798)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)
Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you totally deserved it (16777)
On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" and then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9887) - you totally deserved it (61848)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you totally deserved it (17651)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66388) - you totally deserved it (8253)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy that works with me and for which I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until in the heat of the moment my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you totally deserved it (205690)
On 04/02/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Guilt (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15025) - you totally deserved it (259909)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - work - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (386220) - you totally deserved it (67792)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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