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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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sj_sharks's favorite FMLs
by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by sadguyme / 10/22/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
by painfetish8021 / 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by me / 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm / United States / Work
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
by Cherrish it / 09/04/2012 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said… Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a… Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML