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Sj_sharks's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

By lyfisdyno / Thursday 12 September 2013 00:16 / United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

By ugh Buck! - / Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:57 / United States

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

By interphaseprophasemetaphase - / Wednesday 4 September 2013 11:18 / Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 10 September 2013 18:30 / United States - Smyrna

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

By down trodden - / Thursday 5 September 2013 07:45 / New Zealand - Auckland