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Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57419) - you deserved it (6234)
On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by drsyl54 - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got excited when my phone vibrated cause I thought someone actually wanted to talk to me. When I grabbed my phone I realized my mind played a trick on me and I only thought it vibrated. I'm so lonely I subconsciously trick myself into thinking I have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (5451)
On 03/22/2010 at 7:20pm - misc - by someone72 - United States (Georgia)
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (20029)
On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (15049)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (1579)
On 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53019) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11422) - you deserved it (31145)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (27002)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58602) - you deserved it (156996)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (4607)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139875) - you deserved it (32567)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140879) - you deserved it (32149)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129532) - you deserved it (5332)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85604) - you deserved it (6733)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (162975) - you deserved it (22131)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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