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Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (2861)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (4542)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (7021)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8035) - you deserved it (52833)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8606) - you deserved it (38680)
On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (16359)
On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (3147)
On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States
Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (2693)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (8541)
On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (7651)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (3607)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (20779)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5272) - you deserved it (3943)
On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (7826)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14899) - you deserved it (21616)
On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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