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Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (1688)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48953) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17405) - you deserved it (5635)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13978) - you deserved it (1027)
On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (1580)
On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4315) - you deserved it (30541)
On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (1451)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19100) - you deserved it (4165)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (1449)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4138) - you deserved it (25332)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19536) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (12953)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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