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Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (2061)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (1313)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (1720)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18229) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12623) - you deserved it (2588)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5106) - you deserved it (14848)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (15038)
On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (33454)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (2161)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (2161)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (36824)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12566) - you deserved it (3810)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62513) - you deserved it (6323)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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