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sj_sharks's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
sj_sharks's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML
by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Kayak / 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML
by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm / Croatia (Licko-Senjska) / Health
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by russianfail / 12/04/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Texas) / Work
by DocShadow / 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…