Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

simplyblades

Search for a member

simplyblades

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1253
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

simplyblades's page activity

Visits<b>akosua</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:51pm<b>pepsiisgross</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 8:38pm<b>uzee</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 5:14pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>ThatGuyWithFMLs</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 9:44am<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:18am<b>pattycmom</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:57pm<b>xplicitkontent</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:34am<b>nika10105</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 2:16pm<b>caffeineneko45</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:59pm<b>MilkyFilmz</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:18am<b>CoolKidAL</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 2:26am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 1:32am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:03pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 7:54pm<b>talesoftheold</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 2:14pm

simplyblades's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of simplyblades's badges

simplyblades's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64282) - you deserved it (5169)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (3873)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32840) - you deserved it (6532)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (4171)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56137) - you deserved it (4315)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41359) - you deserved it (4355)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (6040)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46311) - you deserved it (7484)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

#21067848
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (4024)

On 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm - work - by ashamedklutz (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37753) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (2949)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36809) - you deserved it (4762)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (5330)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: