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simplee_olivia

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simplee_olivia
  • Town/Country : 'Murrica
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1996 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 23
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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simplee_olivia's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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simplee_olivia's favorite FMLs

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (8929)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (4300)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17857) - you deserved it (3554)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12441) - you deserved it (4721)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3162)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML

#20127911
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48450) - you deserved it (1782)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (1375)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

#20093138
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16058) - you deserved it (1184)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:38am - love - by thatonegirl.SBS. - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
620 comments

I agree, your life sucks (551285) - you deserved it (35403)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (462306) - you deserved it (574261)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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