simmyiphone

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Offline (the 03/02/2015 at 12:02pm)

simmyiphone

0Fucked!

simmyiphonesimmyiphone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1086
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About simmyiphone : Beach. Work. Love.

simmyiphone's page activity

Visits<b>Soninuva</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:18pm<b>Nick_Pat91</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 9:07am<b>cello90</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:05pm<b>colerean</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:48pm<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:32am<b>Arni792</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:16am<b>Tr0ub3l</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:47pm<b>aamir251</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:35pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 7:02pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>biggiejoe</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Ben009</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:30pm<b>Moochi456</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:29pm<b>Aksta</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:44am<b>silmisstar</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 6:44pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:05pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:24am

simmyiphone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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simmyiphone's favorite FMLs

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

by pottyhostage / 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

by losingit / 10/19/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

by ugh / 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

by quadropheniac / 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

by guamfml / 06/02/2009 at 8:10pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

by seriously / 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy