Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

simmyiphone

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 9:36am) | Search for a member

simmyiphone

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 442
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About simmyiphone : You don't really need to know anything about me now, do you? :D

simmyiphone's page activity

Visits<b>biggiejoe</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Ben009</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:30pm<b>colerean</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 12:53am<b>Moochi456</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:29pm<b>Aksta</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:44am<b>silmisstar</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 6:44pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:05pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:24am<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:45am<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 12:07am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 10:26pm<b>james40096</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 12:05pm<b>sharmayank2</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:43am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 12:57am

simmyiphone's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of simmyiphone's badges

simmyiphone's favorite FMLs

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (39635)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

#13507844
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (36712)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75331) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (3354)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176484) - you deserved it (18047)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117623) - you deserved it (7299)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

#2545642
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185183) - you deserved it (9038)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by guamfml - Guam

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
730 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272964) - you deserved it (144974)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (425954) - you deserved it (59696)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (269817) - you deserved it (17575)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124025) - you deserved it (6685)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178240) - you deserved it (45710)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101404) - you deserved it (4667)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: