Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

silentseries

Search for a member

silentseries
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 206
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About silentseries : I like stuff. And things.

silentseries's last visitors

Miranda_Fbeatlesgirl2u2Izzyduck07LAUREN_1053Danijel92ScarletRoses92stripes97ForeverSilent101plaguerclapdatassidyiHiccupBS

silentseries's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of silentseries's badges

silentseries's favorite FMLs

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40612) - you deserved it (2565)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44579) - you deserved it (4921)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38338) - you deserved it (2815)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42532) - you deserved it (7549)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (6498)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47288) - you deserved it (8637)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (4061)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53469) - you deserved it (6487)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I went to get a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51992) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49304) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (3580)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: