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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sikanderimran

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sikanderimran
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 October 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 22456
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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sikanderimran's favorite FMLs

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (16274) - you deserved it (1543)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (13481) - you deserved it (7694)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (2170)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (6541) - you deserved it (25417)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (27661) - you deserved it (2091)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (14847) - you deserved it (5818)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML

#5755233 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (34267) - you deserved it (4112)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

#5201884 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (2377)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (46551)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

#4805329 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (47616) - you deserved it (7775)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)