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Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you totally deserved it (3083)
On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you totally deserved it (1876)
On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7380) - you totally deserved it (40793)
On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you totally deserved it (6600)
On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you totally deserved it (1007)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you totally deserved it (12542)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you totally deserved it (3036)
On 08/20/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by GroosedOut (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you totally deserved it (6545)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34672) - you totally deserved it (4172)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49389) - you totally deserved it (6533)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34108) - you totally deserved it (13197)
On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35677) - you totally deserved it (3679)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you totally deserved it (5519)
On 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm - love - by Mark (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I read an incoming message in my wifes phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35342) - you totally deserved it (3526)
On 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by rick (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62916) - you totally deserved it (2171)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
