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Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13488) - you deserved it (3347)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (27078)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (17327)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5928) - you deserved it (13571)
On 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Katelyn - United States (California)
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15456) - you deserved it (8563)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (2761)
On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8584) - you deserved it (66359)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8728) - you deserved it (29873)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5324) - you deserved it (43366)
On 08/05/2011 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (35896)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (9387)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (38879)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (5151)
On 09/25/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (58888)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54062) - you deserved it (10194)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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