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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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shockedface

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shockedface
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 128
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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shockedface's favorite FMLs

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (13437) - you deserved it (5301)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (16227) - you deserved it (1516)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (6965) - you deserved it (13105)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (4513) - you deserved it (16080)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

#8794637 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (16433) - you deserved it (1940)

On 03/03/2010 at 6:13am - misc - by ouch... (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (11842) - you deserved it (5331)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (17963) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (1981)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (1641)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML

#8756246 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (6377) - you deserved it (14139)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by whywilson.. (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (25421)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4712) - you deserved it (36911)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (6426) - you deserved it (19068)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (1565)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (4604) - you deserved it (22135)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)