shmoelover

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shmoelover

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 549
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shmoelover : Reasons I may have profile creeped you: 1) I wanted to see your picture larger 2) I wanted to see if your profile information was as funny/douchy as your comment. 3) I'm return creeping your initial creep. Happy creeping :]

shmoelover's page activity

Visits<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:32am<b>Setareh23</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:24am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:50am<b>FalaFala</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:18pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:16pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 8:33pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 10:49am<b>evilpokey</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 2:06pm<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:31pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 5:46pm<b>Zorrm</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 5:22am<b>MrItalia</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 9:54pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 11:55pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 10:43pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 4:25am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 5:38am<b>HabibaKasrawy</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 5:02pm

shmoelover's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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shmoelover's favorite FMLs

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

by moronforadad / 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 6:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

by Megz / 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 5:34am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy