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shiney_13

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shiney_13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 153
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shiney_13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11567) - you deserved it (32890)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (5845)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (4701)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (5408)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

#18123104
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (1893)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34738) - you deserved it (2617)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (9626)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12092) - you deserved it (36827)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (5258)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)



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