shikari

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shikari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shikari's page activity

Visits<b>Starburst26461</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:55pm<b>jackler92</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:52pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:37am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:08pm<b>javiz0922</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:31pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:33pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:17am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 6:39am<b>plexico</b> - the 09/18/2009 at 12:22am

shikari's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shikari's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

by asshole / 10/02/2009 at 1:34am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

by Heww / 09/28/2009 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

by desperate / 09/26/2009 at 10:15am / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

by desperate / 09/26/2009 at 10:15am / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

by noname / 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous