Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shessomepirate

Search for a member

shessomepirate

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2054
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shessomepirate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shessomepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (44921)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (4936)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (5815)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45706) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45706) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33938) - you deserved it (3174)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (17976)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12536) - you deserved it (42904)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46482) - you deserved it (7203)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51115) - you deserved it (5501)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (38709)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: