shessomepirate

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shessomepirate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2672
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shessomepirate's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:53am

shessomepirate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shessomepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

by mags / 02/16/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

by cjk004 / 02/15/2009 at 6:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

by crazycutie1027 / 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

by shit's weak / 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

by shit's weak / 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

by Noname / 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

by fmlfmboyfriendah / 02/13/2009 at 9:37am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

by idkmybffjill? / 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

by Duckie W / 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

by SmokedSalmon / 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm / United States (New York) / Love