Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shessomepirate

Search for a member

shessomepirate

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1939
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shessomepirate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shessomepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (6084)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16134) - you deserved it (49459)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (32188)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39138) - you deserved it (12461)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60359) - you deserved it (19339)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17431) - you deserved it (46003)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (2838)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (28172)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65713) - you deserved it (5113)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (11637)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

#55512
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (5363)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:26pm - health - by Loot (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

#54782
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66319) - you deserved it (3535)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Elmo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (68978)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: