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shessomepirate

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  • Number of visits : 1997
  • Number of comments : 1
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shessomepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (6093)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16151) - you deserved it (49574)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15407) - you deserved it (32247)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (12474)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60483) - you deserved it (19358)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (46073)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39766) - you deserved it (2667)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (28433)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65985) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (11646)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

#55512
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (5368)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:26pm - health - by Loot (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

#54782
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66431) - you deserved it (3539)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Elmo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (69077)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)



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