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  • Number of visits : 3036
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shessomepirate's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:53am

shessomepirate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shessomepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

by pchemist / 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

by darn it. / 02/20/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

by killmenow / 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

by dpl / 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

by Machine / 02/19/2009 at 7:18am / Japan (Okinawa) / Health

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

by grlks / 02/19/2009 at 2:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

by littelace / 02/19/2009 at 1:29am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

by mediocreboobs / 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

by swtkiss1 / 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

by Noname / 02/18/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous