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shessomepirate

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shessomepirate

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  • Number of visits : 2080
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shessomepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62615) - you deserved it (6437)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

#98497
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81621) - you deserved it (6245)

On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45932) - you deserved it (3601)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (2423)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84628) - you deserved it (17662)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57961) - you deserved it (3021)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50017) - you deserved it (4998)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (7907)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13365) - you deserved it (55750)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55620) - you deserved it (5210)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

#75423
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (21865)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:29am - love - by littelace - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73436) - you deserved it (4475)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (7772)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (54144)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

#69853
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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