About shelbyslaughters : My name is Shelby, I am 16 years old. I love Iron Man, cats, Tumblr, and the color purple.
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shelbyslaughters's favorite FMLs
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love
Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML
by Jeff / 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
by 1234567898765432 / 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
- Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.…