sharpiebandit

Search for a member

sharpiebandit

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 838
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

sharpiebandit's page activity

Visits<b>callmebronson</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:32am<b>Bill_bill35</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:42am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:39am

sharpiebandit's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sharpiebandit's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

by Teeny / 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

by sdauner / 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

by Tucker / 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 9:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

by Nemesis2747 / 12/24/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

by life_suxxx / 12/17/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

by jacked / 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

by beaten / 09/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

by Michelle / 08/04/2009 at 1:31pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous