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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1330
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sharpester : My real birthday isn't anywhere Jan 1, or 1955. ..I mark I'm a black Jew on government census forms for the same reason. : )

sharpester's page activity

Visits<b>Rob2342</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Worrisome</b> - the 11/11/2011 at 12:38am<b>Haganbottom234</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 7:34pm<b>xxmotomotoxx</b> - the 09/17/2011 at 2:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:07pm

sharpester's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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sharpester's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

by steph / 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm / China / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

by OperaLover / 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

by I_dislike_Twilight / 09/08/2011 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

by mike / 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm / United States / Work

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

by brownieswillneverbethesame / 09/04/2011 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

by anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 7:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local Pizza Hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

by Marty / 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

by fmlTGOD / 08/24/2011 at 7:34am / United States / Love

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

by Nick / 08/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation