Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shannypannies

Search for a member

shannypannies

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 454
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shannypannies : Hey I'm Shannypannies! I'm 18 and I live in Oklahoma. I usually visit FML after a cruddy day to lighten my mood!

For anyone who is curious about my photo, that is in fact my puppy. Her name is Pooh-Bear

shannypannies's page activity

Visits<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:20pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:06am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 8:59pm<b>shaytards</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 4:51am<b>SmuggletheBudgie</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:16pm

shannypannies's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of shannypannies's badges

shannypannies's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (5127)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15135) - you deserved it (4441)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (8102)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6302) - you deserved it (70621)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55843) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

#4394245
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65478) - you deserved it (2912)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

#4228072
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41917) - you deserved it (30535)

On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42641) - you deserved it (17833)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87298) - you deserved it (9933)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (96141)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (417691) - you deserved it (59578)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72344) - you deserved it (10245)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39059) - you deserved it (11420)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (8747)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: