About shannypannies : Hey I'm Shannypannies! I'm 17 and I live in Oklahoma. I usually visit FML after a cruddy day to lighten my mood!
For anyone who is curious about my photo, that is in fact my puppy. Her name is Pooh-Bear
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Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (28384)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43617) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (4237)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26159) - you deserved it (3208)
On 12/27/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by maddie - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (2258)
On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19525) - you deserved it (2633)
On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36141) - you deserved it (3828)
On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6875) - you deserved it (32693)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (3527)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (4488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (4086)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (2172)
On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)
Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14230) - you deserved it (31550)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (2360)
On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40968) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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