About shannypannies : Hey I'm Shannypannies! I'm 17 and I live in Oklahoma. I usually visit FML after a cruddy day to lighten my mood!
For anyone who is curious about my photo, that is in fact my puppy. Her name is Pooh-Bear
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Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33511) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16916) - you deserved it (3135)
On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (2301)
On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18449) - you deserved it (6459)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (2407)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (2407)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (4124)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (2984)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19210) - you deserved it (11680)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (4184)
On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19178) - you deserved it (1558)
On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (3812)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (2097)
On 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by dadadoo - United States (New York)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Monday 20 May 2013
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