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shadowclam101

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shadowclam101

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Friday 7 May 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 103
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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shadowclam101's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54710) - you deserved it (14386)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (9404)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (7546)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (40897)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32730) - you deserved it (6098)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31437) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (13402)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15098) - you deserved it (34941)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

#20196447
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5128) - you deserved it (54050)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (1582)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (3149)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)



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