About shaPOW :
I'm inexplicably drawn to empty stadiums at night.
Music is kind of my life.
I play ping pong on two tables lined up end-to-end.
I print my own lined paper instead of using that thin, 8x10 ugly stuff with the blue lines and condescending red margin demarcator.
I take naps after drinking caffeinated drinks.
My favorite colors are fb19bb and 71ffa8, not to be confused with bright pink and mintish cyan.
If you say "heighth" or "nucular" around me, I will judge you so hard that you'll lose your ability to say vowels.
About shaPOW :
shaPOW's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
shaPOW's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
by waterproblem / 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML
by sounfair90 / 05/27/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML
by Tom_why / 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous
by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by hipthrustdude / 05/18/2009 at 8:04am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML
by Ottawa / 05/12/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
by gymbob / 05/06/2009 at 7:36am / United States (Indiana) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…