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About shaPOW :
I'm inexplicably drawn to empty stadiums at night.
Music is kind of my life.
I play ping pong on two tables lined up end-to-end.
I print my own lined paper instead of using that thin, 8x10 ugly stuff with the blue lines and condescending red margin demarcator.
I take naps after drinking caffeinated drinks.
My favorite colors are fb19bb and 71ffa8, not to be confused with bright pink and mintish cyan.
If you say "heighth" or "nucular" around me, I will judge you so hard that you'll lose your ability to say vowels.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, mah phone did. I pluggd it in to charge an then went out to run some errands. When I returnd, mah phone was no where to be found, an our shovel was on the floor, muddy an wet. I then discoverd mah 6-year old son had burid mah "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry 4 me. mega FML
Today, I rode mah bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal fir turning left. A car passing the opposite way veerd towards me and attemptd to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over mah body and mah bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls . I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously . I hered one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing . She said "Oh mah god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from yur butt!" Apparently, mah ass is nicer than mah face . fat FML
Today, I was at tha cafataria of mah school with mah boyfriand and ha dumpad ma!! I was kinda axpacting it!! What I wasn't axpacting was that ha'd start running in front of avaryona, scraaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at tha top of his lungs and that ha'd kiss tha first girl ha saw!! FML
Taday mah crush was walking up to me an I puttd mah earphone in... playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out an say... "Oh... I didn't see you there!" His response... "They're not connectd to anything..." holds up the end of mah earphone an walks away. FML
Yesterday, I was taking a bath an out of boredom started making sheep noises . I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises . When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room...here my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing . mega FML
Today, mah dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all mah might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that r actually light plastic. I fell over backward an dumped dirt into mah mouth. FML
Today, I was at te extremely crowded gym wen someone came up biend me an souted in ma ear scaring te living sit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was biend me. It was a new song starting on ma eadpones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Taday I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler . I wantd to point out he was a very good speaker, and looool could incite a crowd . Instead,hat cummd out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on mah phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out mah Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting acros from me point an tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when u become his bitch!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015