About shaPOW :
I'm inexplicably drawn to empty stadiums at night.
Music is kind of my life.
I play ping pong on two tables lined up end-to-end.
I print my own lined paper instead of using that thin, 8x10 ugly stuff with the blue lines and condescending red margin demarcator.
I take naps after drinking caffeinated drinks.
My favorite colors are fb19bb and 71ffa8, not to be confused with bright pink and mintish cyan.
If you say "heighth" or "nucular" around me, I will judge you so hard that you'll lose your ability to say vowels.
About shaPOW :
shaPOW's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
shaPOW's favorite FMLs
Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML
by no_service / 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm / Japan (Okinawa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
by bitches. / 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
by AllyCat / 06/07/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Virginia) / Money
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
by ether10 / 06/04/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML
by satanlovesme / 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway.… Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds… Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I…