shaPOW

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shaPOW

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 61507
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shaPOW :
I'm inexplicably drawn to empty stadiums at night.
Music is kind of my life.
I play ping pong on two tables lined up end-to-end.
I print my own lined paper instead of using that thin, 8x10 ugly stuff with the blue lines and condescending red margin demarcator.
I take naps after drinking caffeinated drinks.
My favorite colors are fb19bb and 71ffa8, not to be confused with bright pink and mintish cyan.
If you say "heighth" or "nucular" around me, I will judge you so hard that you'll lose your ability to say vowels.

shaPOW's page activity

Visits<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:14am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:17pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:19am<b>Konain</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:27pm<b>alexsondria</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:51pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>Doopliss01</b> - the 06/25/2010 at 4:57am<b>noclevername</b> - the 05/10/2010 at 7:03am<b>ha</b> - the 12/30/2009 at 12:31pm<b>nabo</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 5:45pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:36am<b>tjd13</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 7:50pm<b>tropmignon</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 12:49am<b>Melodious</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 8:49pm<b>diki</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 2:17pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 10:45am<b>Emma_91</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 2:45pm

shaPOW's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shaPOW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

by cosmonaut / 08/07/2009 at 5:18am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

by cosmonaut / 08/07/2009 at 5:18am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

by cosmonaut / 08/07/2009 at 5:18am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

by dumb / 08/03/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

by flustered / 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

by dotcomboy / 07/28/2009 at 11:23am / United States / Work

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

by smallmediumatlrg / 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 9:32am / Singapore / Kids