Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sexyshit44

Search for a member

sexyshit44
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 204
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sexyshit44's last visitors

bigdelicious81

sexyshit44's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sexyshit44's favorite FMLs

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18193) - you deserved it (44710)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

#17108827
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8303) - you deserved it (51627)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm - misc - by Stephanie - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (11391)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (3293)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38369) - you deserved it (3258)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

#14368854
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40319) - you deserved it (4258)

On 12/28/2010 at 11:47am - kids - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you deserved it (39481)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (1550)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13619) - you deserved it (42490)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56550) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: