I'm a student in Florida and suffered under our wonderful public school system. FML
Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1627) - you totally deserved it (38123)
On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9277) - you totally deserved it (20618)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML
I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you totally deserved it (1082)
On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you totally deserved it (9032)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5559) - you totally deserved it (22062)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you totally deserved it (37429)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10987) - you totally deserved it (21841)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5693) - you totally deserved it (35079)
On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you totally deserved it (9380)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you totally deserved it (1517)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you totally deserved it (3050)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats & turntable scratches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you totally deserved it (4205)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31569) - you totally deserved it (7573)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Stars (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you totally deserved it (1498)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)
Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you totally deserved it (5508)
On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
