About sexxxysydney : Sydney Kaytlin Rouse. Married to my best friend and the man of my dreams, and I couldn't be any happier. 20 years old with 3 cats and a dog named Riley. Retired beauty queen. Dance is my passion. Country girl and proud. 'Merica.
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sexxxysydney's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Montana) / Love
Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML
by living_thedream / 01/14/2013 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals
by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
by daughter of a gullible cunt / 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Mary / 01/13/2013 at 10:49am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 7:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by LilRedRiding_27 / 01/13/2013 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
by nean83 / 01/12/2013 at 12:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by wtf did i do?? / 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
by fuck you, mum / 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of… Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me.… Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass…