Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sehrgutmann

Offline (the 06/10/2015 at 2:30am) | Search for a member

sehrgutmann

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1040
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sehrgutmann : In college, FMLs keep me entertained when I'm overwhelmed with work haha.

sehrgutmann's page activity

Visits<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:50pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:54am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:27am<b>DyslexicKoala</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:57pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:10am<b>WearingHats</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:09am<b>Doutze</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:58am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:19am<b>curlguy</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:47pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:04pm<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:18pm<b>sureshadow</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:41pm<b>countrygirl2272</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:46pm<b>ronnie7pt</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:42pm<b>AlexRice</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:28pm

Fucked!<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:17pm

sehrgutmann's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of sehrgutmann's badges

sehrgutmann's favorite FMLs

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (9776)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (3243)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34089) - you deserved it (2732)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267) - you deserved it (31993)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42710) - you deserved it (3776)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (4221)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37752) - you deserved it (15125)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (4304)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (3305)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38945) - you deserved it (6203)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43331) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (5638)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55483) - you deserved it (23081)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: