Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sehrgutmann

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 10:02pm) | Search for a member

sehrgutmann

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sehrgutmann's page activity

Visits<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Vanubo</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:41am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:48pm<b>miliaras93</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:08pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:14am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:39am<b>din0m1te</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:49am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:37am<b>han5301</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:11pm<b>master_disaster</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:54pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:43am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:44pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:40am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 7:31pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:06pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 2:38pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:10pm<b>Spagetiokillers</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:08am

sehrgutmann's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of sehrgutmann's badges

sehrgutmann's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33711) - you deserved it (4204)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (2009)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35086) - you deserved it (5350)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (4646)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51622) - you deserved it (21092)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48543) - you deserved it (3951)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (6406)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41603) - you deserved it (21402)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51060) - you deserved it (11815)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69022) - you deserved it (5454)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51482) - you deserved it (3576)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you deserved it (6637)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: